I’m Tired – Now What?

The day is Friday. I was sitting in my friends living room in Laguna Beach high up on Temple Hills Drive looking out one of her two big windows, I just felt tired. It was a semi clear day and I could almost see straight out to Catalina Island. The channel between the island and the mainland was calm. Low to no wind, only a slight breeze, modest cloud cover and low surf. It would have been an awesome day to swim the Catalina Channel. I was reminded that I should be preparing for my channel crossing, but that’s just another thing this world spread virus has taken away. It’s been a gnarly 8 months out here in California. Just when I thought I was feeling comfortable, something changed. I’ve had to pivot a lot and it’s exhausting. I’ll be honest with you, this has been a tough week for me.

I felt like I was moving at half pace from Monday-Thursday; just not firing all cylinders. I’ve been feeling unusually drained lately; no it’s not COVID-19. It’s as if all my reserve energy had just been vacuum sucked dry. My patience has been thin, my diet took a nose dive and my vodka sodas have been frequent and strong.

But, you know what? It’s all going to be okay. This week challenged me emotionally. I just wanted to hide away in my room and throw all responsibilities to the wind. I found a way to push through by being honest with myself and with my friend, Steph. She let me vent it all out to her on a hilly walk with the dogs and it was exactly what I needed. She reminded me to take each day one step at a time.

Now it’s Sunday and I’m sitting in my bed at 2:25pm experiencing a very different type of exhaustion. In the past 56 hours I logged 14 training miles. 3.5K on Friday, 5.5K on Saturday and 13K today. I felt great Friday and Saturday, but today I was a little tight. I paced with Rob, who is a little faster than I am, but we kept a steady quick pace. I knew I was going to have to push to hold this faster pace for 8 miles. We swim together often in the mornings, but usually shorter distances when I don’t mind putting it in a higher gear. It was challenging for me and I loved every second of it. It took my mind off of outside stressors and allowed me to just focus on one stroke at a time.

I proved to myself that even though I had a tough week, I was still able to pivot again and have an awesome weekend.

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